The relocation that brought us closer

After I passed out of my school the only thing on everybody’s mind was my marriage. All my neighbors, relatives and family started searching for my better half. Being
born in a male dominated family it was never considered a good idea for a girl to have her own career. It was not easy to spend time doing nothing while the search for a suitable groom was in full swing. I always had a great interest in interior decoration. I used to purchase books on this subject and tried different styles at home which were always appreciated by my family and visitors. After gathering my courage I requested my elder brother to help me get admission in an interior designing course. As I am his pampered sister he talked to papa on my behalf. My father agreed as he believed that empty mind is devil's workshop. I immersed myself completely in the course which I enjoyed very much. On weekends at least 3-4 prospective grooms came to see me but somehow things didn't work out. It was a 6 months course and time just flew without my knowing. It was my last month of the course when my Mr Right came into my life. He was an IT professional settled in USA. He was dark and handsome and very charming. Everything was right about him except that he was settled in USA and had no intention of coming back to India. I loved India and never thought of leaving my dear country. My family convinced me that it’s a good match and I should not decline this offer as its all destiny and we as humans can’t change the way luck works. I agreed to this proposal and within a month I got married to him. I moved with him to USA. It was a vast cultural change. The weather was harsh as compared to India. My heart was still in India. My husband was very understanding and adjusting. He was more than a good friend. He helped me in the kitchen. We cooked together went to different places, planned picnics and everything was going well. In 2000 he lost his job. It was a testing time for us. The cost of living was too much and soon our money reserves were depleting. It was a time to take tough decisions. My husband tried at many places for a job but without any luck. He did some temporary jobs but it was not sufficient. Being brought up in a male dominated family I mustered my courage and told my husband that I want to start my business of interior decoration in India. I had decided on this bold move to relocate back to India when my husband’s efforts failed to get a decent job He was quiet on this subject but when things didn’t work and seeing our dwindling finances he agreed. We flew back to India to #StartANewLife and with the help of my brother I started my designing studio. My family initially discouraged me but my husband encouraged me I started getting orders soon and my work created sensation. Through word of mouth my client list started increasing. Within 6 months I started earning well even more than what we earned before. This bold step has not only made us well off but our moving to India has brought us even more close. We have now a special bond of understanding.


#StartANewLife
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My journey of hope and optimism

We take birth, we grow up and finally grow old. During all these stages we are continuously learning and experiencing new things. We may be of any type from the rugged to the delicate but we must never lose sight of hope and optimism. These are the two rungs of the ladder of life and we not only need them continuously but we cannot do without them. Hope makes us move forward while optimism is the beacon that lights up our path.

Hope and optimism are the sword and the shield without which we should not move ahead. I came to know about this when I was in college. My father worked in a factory and his pay package was just enough to sustain us. One day misfortune befell us and my father was taken ill. He was advised complete bed rest by the doctor. It was a no work no pay situation. My mother had managed to save a small amount for the rainy days. Our financial situation was becoming grim day by day. Life is an incessant journey till our last breath. As my mother had to tend to my father she was in no position to go out and seek a job. My younger sister was still in school and too young to share the financial burden. At least there was no problem of paying her school fees as it had been paid in advance for the whole year. The management of the factory had been kind enough to arrange for the treatment and the medicines for my father. Still day to day expenses of food and milk loomed large before us.

I was in college at that time and thought of doing a part time job. Although I tried my best I could not get any job. This was most disheartening. Then hope knocked at the door in the form of my best friend. She had been my senior at school. In due course of time we had become very good friends. She had gone after college to another city. Now she was back again and had come to inquire about my welfare. It did not take long for her to understand the situation we were now facing. She went to meet my father upon hearing that he was not well and her presence proved to be a calming factor and now my father  seemed more cheerful and more like his old self. She came back with me to my room. She told me that she needed my help. I was greatly puzzled and wondered what help I could give to her. She laughed her musical laugh and said that she was not going to ask for a treasure or money. She told me that she had opened a coaching institute. This institute was just close to my home and she needed me to coach the children the subject of mathematics. She knew that I was very good at it and offered me a handsome salary.

She was sure that I would carry out my task with perfection and she had full confidence in me. This filled me with a new hope and optimism and I knew that I would succeed.

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Thank you Grandma for those moments of togetherness

Togetherness is a gift and spending time with your loved one is like a gift of god. Like the fragrance of a sweet smelling flower it brightens our lives, not just that particular moment but the memories of such time spent #together linger on and revisit us whenever we are in need of comforting or in times of stress. These are the pearls of wisdom that are the inheritance passed on to me from my grandmother. I was the first born of my parents and as the first born of the family a lot of love and care was showered upon me. Yet I was the daughter and like a lot of Indian households there were a lot of restrictions imposed on me. It was my grandmother who stood up for me and helped me fulfill my wishes. Be it getting permission for attending the scouts and guide came or joining NCC at school. Even though she herself was not very educated as she got married at an early age she made up for this shortfall in her life by getting books on loan from nearby students and library and taught herself . She encouraged me to study and   learn the household chores as well. Then when I reached  the marriageable age my parents found a suitable boy and got me married. I got married into a large joint family and my husband had a number of siblings. My in-laws household had very different customs and thinking and I had a very difficult time adjusting to them. Even my mother in law did not take very kindly to the fact that I was a vegetarian. Where as the men in my in-laws home enjoyed non veg food and my mother in law coaxed me to cook and eat non veg food. All this tormenting and coaxing took its toll on my health and I fell ill. Then when I returned to my parent’s home for a few days everybody showed a lot of concern looking at my stressed out state. My grandmother was concerned for me but maintained her calm exterior. She called me to her room and handed me a large plate full of rice that she was about to cook. She asked me to sift it and remove any stones or any other inedible parts that may be present. When I cleaned the rice she spoke with compassion she said. “Your future is like this rice mostly full of good things however the small stones that you see are the obstacles that would come in your life. Just like you are removing them before preparing your meal similarly you would have to remove the obstacles in your life . ” Her calming words were very soothing. She brought me a cook book from her collection and showed me a numbers of recipes that were pure vegetarian but in look and taste would beat any meat preparation.This is what I had needed,this one moment of being #together. This time spent in her company enriched and changed my life for good and when I went back to my in-laws place I won them over with my cooking. Slowly they began to appreciate my cooking and I adjusted to the customs of my new household..I shared with my mother in law my recipes and she too was moved and impressed by my ingenuity. Over time she became like my best friend. The time that I had spent with my grandmother had created a strong bond with her.In this time of togetherness she had passed on to me her life’s experiences and  it had taught me some very important lessons of life . It had taught me how to be myself and win people over with my genuineness and of course my cooking.  Thank you grand Ma !  

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 #together 

चुप रहो

चुप रहो, छिपाने के लिए और बहुत कुछ है

अपने स्वयं के भावनाएँ, और सपने

मानसिक गहराई में

भावनाओं से उपजे भविष्य के इंद्रधनुषी सपने

कुछ दिल से सोंच कर, कुछ दिमाग़ की फॅक्टरी में बुने गये

चुरा ना ले कोई इनको

चुप रहो, छिपाने के लिए और बहुत कुछ है


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धरा नीचे अपनी धूरी पर घूमती

सूरज की हर किरण और

बारिश की हर बूँद को चूमती

बीच में है इंसान जो सोंचता की वोह

दुनिया चलाता है

पर वो यह भूल जाता है

की उससे बड़ा भी कोई है

जो हर इंसान को बनाता है

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